1, 2, 3’s of Healing Conversations Now

Healing conversations are all about connecting and enhancing relationships.  The 1, 2, 3’s are conditions that magnify the power to connect people.  Often simpler to say than to do, these basic elements are:

  • No.1:  Intention
  • No. 2:  Presence
  • No. 3:  Connected listening

No. 1:  Be intentional about your desire to enhance relationships:  The main purpose of Healing Conversations is to heal the “dis-ease” of isolation and separation, and to build more satisfying relationships.  Keep this notion in mind when both asking questions and responding to questions.  Will your questions and responses enhance the relationship?  If yes, definitely share them.  If you’re unsure, ask instead, “Tell me more about that.”  You might be surprised by what you hear beyond the initial response.  It is not always perfect.  The conversation requires two to participate.  Initiate with clarity of purpose, then let go of the results.

No. 2:  Be present, mindful, nonjudgmental, and step out of the storyteller’s way:  Presence is a state of being.  It is the opposite of multi-tasking.  It means having a singular focus on the present moment and person.  Presence amplifies our ability to see and hear beyond the surface.  Stepping out of the storyteller’s way lets them take the lead – the conversation is all about them.  These conversations are not the time to voice your experiences or feelings.  Even when your intention is to focus on the storyteller, you will learn about yourself in the process.  As a present, mindful, non-judgmental listener, you will be relaxed and more able to connect – the original intention.  Presence can also mean silence, often a golden gift.

No. 3:  Be a connected listener:  Listening in healing conversations is different from everyday listening.  It goes beyond active listening.  The first priority for the listener in healing conversations is to create a bond, providing support so that the storyteller can share freely.  Remember, this is not the opportunity for you as the listener to share your feelings, thoughts, advice, or old hurts.  Instead, your responsibility is to listen to really understand.  This gives the storyteller the chance to share stories you’ve heard before, or maybe stories you could never imagine you would hear.  It is the time to be able to be amazed by the person you are with.